Torchwood: Roses and Thorns
by Maria Patenaude
Summary: At Torchwood, friends are the family we choose for ourselves. When friends' and relatives' lives are at stake, though, sometimes blood has a stronger pull than you expect... or even want. Part 4 of 5.
1. Chapter 1

**Part 4 of this fanfic (specifically "Roses and Thorns") was written after the Torchwood Season 2 finale, during Doctor Who Season 4, and pre Children of Earth. It is a diligently-researched work of love that I never intended to make public; I began it for my own enjoyment, and continued it out of love, and as a means of coping with some of the grief left behind by TW Season 2. With that in mind, R&R, and I hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Torchwood and Doctor Who are franchises that don't belong to me. I simply like to visit their 'verse and play. **

**Primarily, what's not mine belongs to Russell T. Davies et al. of the current incarnation of the Whoniverse.**

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My name is Sage Smith, and I'm the Doctor's daughter.

I'm not the one he'd run to in an instant. Then again, neither am I the one he fears.

I'm the one he left behind.

* * *

My name isn't really Smith. For a century, I went by the name Miranda Small. Miranda was my sister, one of my sisters, and small was what I was when I landed here on Earth, pitiful and wounded, with only a half-dead Vortex Manipulator and a suitcase as my companions. I'd been at the Academy when Gallifrey fell, and I escaped right out of my dormitory as my home planet burned around me. My father was the one who destroyed that world.

"I was a father once," my father told a girl named Rose. That wasn't the whole truth, though. He still was one. There was Miranda, there was Jenny, and there was me.

I was the middle child, the only one who'd passed Initiation, and I don't think my father knew what I knew about Jenny. She hadn't been born yet when Gallifrey fell. If he'd known I was still here, still alive, and had put me in the same room with Jenny, I don't know what he'd have made of us. We were children born to war, trained to fight, and that wasn't what he'd have wanted for either of us. Our fathers, though, don't always have much say in who we are.

* * *

"Sage," Jack said again, trying to get my attention. I'd been staring at my roses, the lovely Sterling roses John had sent me as a thank you for saving his life, and wishing I could keep their petals from falling. There's no way to stop the dead from dying, though, and a Rose, once plucked, is already doomed.

"Yes, Jack?" I said. "Sorry. I was distracted."

"I noticed that. Maybe if you stopped keeping secrets from me they wouldn't keep distracting you when I need you."

"I told you, I have no idea why I said those things," I replied defensively. "I don't know when you're going to die, Jack, and if I did..."

"You probably wouldn't tell me," he concluded. "That's fine. I don't want to know. And anyway, it's not about that. I believe you."

"I'm glad to hear that, Jack," I said, releasing a breath I hadn't realised I'd been holding.

"It's the other secret that I'm disappointed in you for not telling me, Sage," he said. "Why didn't you tell me you saw Rose?"

"You must have gone through the CCTV frame by frame," I whispered, astounded and embarrassed to have been found out. "She was only there for an instant. I wouldn't have even known it was her, except for what she said."

"'Doctor'," he repeated. "I know. What I _don't_ know is how she did it. She's trapped on a parallel world... isn't she?"

"Jack, I swear to you, I really don't know. I checked for Rift activity, temporal anomalies—"

"I know you did; that's how I knew exactly when to look in the CCTV logs. You narrowed it down for me quite a bit by covering your tracks. I wasn't able to retrieve the data myself, but Ianto was." He watched me plant my forehead on the heel of my left hand. "You might want to follow his advice next time and not delete CCTV footage when you've been sneaking about. I wouldn't have thought a damn thing about you using Toshiko's station except for the deletions. That's a lesson Ianto learned the hard way. But since you knew that already, something tells me you _wanted_ us to know."

"Is Ianto mad at me?"

"He's worried, Sage, and frankly, so am I. It makes me wonder what else you might be keeping from us."

"Us? You mean Torchwood?" I blurted angrily.

"No, Sage, I meant Ianto and me. But if you're keeping something from Torchwood as a whole, now would be the time to speak up," he said gravely.

"It doesn't concern Torchwood. It won't affect Earth," I said softly.

"What won't?"

"It's _who_ won't, Jack, and don't tell the others," I whispered. "I'll tell Ianto; I promise; but don't tell John. He might try to find her like he tried to find Gray."

I saw Jack wince. I hadn't meant to hurt him. Then again, the similarity of my situation to his was difficult to ignore. "Don't tell me. You have a long-lost sister and she's bent on world domination," he said, trying to conceal his pain in a jest. He realized after a moment, though, that I hadn't said anything to that. "You don't, do you?"

"Her name is Jenny," I whispered. "She's younger than me. I don't know much about her except that she's dangerous."

"Dangerous to whom?"

"Wish I knew," I shrugged. "Not to you, though, Jack. Torchwood. To _me_, maybe, but not the rest of you. And she doesn't know I exist."

"Is that why you told Martha not to tell your father you're alive?"

"Jack!" I protested. "Quit snooping! Why did you even check that?"

"Because you and Ianto both jumped a mile when I walked into the room. I really enjoyed John's poetry, by the way. Didn't know he had it in him," he remarked.

"You should hear him sing," I said, relishing the look of surprise on his face. "It's a bit unnerving when someone knows more about your lovers than you do, isn't it, Jack," I teased. John had been my childhood sweetheart. The Vortex Manipulator that had saved my life was his.

There was a lot I knew about John that most people who knew him would never have believed, including the ones who'd known him back then. There were sides of his personality that only I ever saw. But that was the way it was with most people when they were around me, including Jack himself.

"Are you sure Jenny is not going to be an issue?" he asked me, getting back to the business of my secret-keeping.

"No, Jack. I'm not sure. I'm hoping," I admitted.

"How's the hand?" he asked me. I'd sliced my hand and wrist open on the thorns of one of the Sterling roses the day before, nicking a vein and bleeding quite a lot. I had twenty-eight stitches, one for each year of the age I'd gone by as Miranda Small and still used when I needed a cover story. I didn't look 116, after all.

"It's sore," I admitted. "Kind of itches. I'll be okay, though," I replied.

"Now back to what I called you in here for, Sage," Jack said. "How's Laura?"

"About thirty percent of the ATMOS toxins have left her system, but she's not out of the woods yet," I informed him. "It's roughly the equivalent of the damage she'd have done to herself if she'd tried to kill herself in her garage," I said, then winced as I remembered he'd once helped a man do exactly that. In Ianto's car, no less. "Sorry," I said.

"It's all right," he said, pretending it hadn't bothered him, but his eyes had darkened two shades of blue. It was something he himself had never been aware of, but both Ianto and I knew to be our cue to give him space.

"Time for me to apologise to Ianto," I said, standing. I went around the desk and kissed Jack softly on the cheek. As I was drawing away, though, he put his hand on the back of my neck and pulled me toward himself, putting his mouth to mine in a kiss that was full of longing and loss and tasted of brandy.

"I love you, Jack," I moaned. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't tell Ianto about Jenny," he whispered. "Not unless he asks."

"No, Jack. I'm telling him," I countered. "I won't keep secrets from Ianto that I'm not keeping from you. _Order_ me not to tell him, if you really want to stop me," I said, daring him. I didn't know it, but _my_ eyes had gone from grey to almost black... what Jack and Ianto knew to be their cue not to contradict me.

"You're right," he conceded. "I'm sorry." It was often difficult to find a balance in any relationship, but when one's relationship consisted of three people rather than the norm, the balancing act became infinitely more complex, and it was far easier to accidentally hurt the ones you loved.

I kissed him again, softly on the lips, and that time when I moved to leave he let me go. "I do love you so, Jack Harkness," I murmured from the doorway as I left.


	2. Chapter 2

"Sage, come here!" John called out to me when I was just past halfway down the stairs. Hearing the panic in his voice and the machinery keeping Laura alive beeping madly, I opted to slide down the banister and run, jumping down into the medical area to find Laura fighting against the tube in her throat.

"I need to up the sedatives," I told John. "She can't breathe on her own yet; she just doesn't know it." I tweaked her IV drip and turned off the alarms. John was speaking to her soothingly when I turned back toward her, but she seemed only half-comforted and mostly confused. "Laura, this is John Hart," I told her. She'd only been semi-conscious when Jack had finally managed to pull her in during the world-wide panic of the ATMOS disaster. They hadn't actually met, but John had been taking care of her for most of that day and the night before. "He's a good friend of mine. Blink twice if you understand me, Laura." She did. "He's been taking care of you. Do you recognize his voice?" Twice again. "Good. He doesn't give this kind of attention to just anyone, so it'd be a pity if you'd missed the whole thing. Do you know what's happened to you?" She blinked once. "Do you remember the gas? The poison gas?" Yes. "You can't breathe on your own yet, so we've got you on a respirator. That's why there's a tube down your throat."

_Doctor?_ she thought hard, aiming it at my mind. That was a good sign, her remembering that I'm psychic, trying to make herself heard.

"No, sweetheart, he's not a doctor. We haven't found a medic yet."

_Martha left?_ she tried again.

"Yes, Martha left. UNIT called her in," I reminded her.

_Is s__he okay?_ she asked.

"She's fine," I said, hoping it was true.

_He know what he's doing?_ she sent into my head.

_Yes, he does_, I told her. "You're going to be just fine, Laura," I said out loud. "You're in good hands."

_Thank you_, she sent me, sounding weaker. The sedative was kicking in.

"Your Jedi Mind Tricks are sort of scary, Sage," John remarked, "but the way you flew from the second storey to here in no-point-two seconds... Brilliant. I've never known anyone who could move like you."

"No come-ons, sunshine," I teased him, kissing his forehead in a sisterly fashion, but feeling him inhale from the vicinity of my cleavage as I did so. "I'm a two-man gal," I quipped, moving away from him.

"Tease," he shot back, but he was amused, not angry. Thank goodness. John Hart was the last man in the Universe I wanted angry with me.

* * *

"I'm really sorry I kept things from you," I was telling Ianto, "and I'm even more sorry to be telling you in a storage closet. I couldn't risk it being on CCTV more than the once."

"I don't mind the storage closet, Sage," Ianto murmured, his lips brushing the cup of my ear. "It's good to have you completely to myself, even if only for a few minutes," he added, pulling my body flush against his so I could feel his erection. "I know I said we'd take it slow. I still want that. I just want you to know that I still want you."

"I appreciate the reminder," I said with a teasing smile, rubbing the side of his turgid penis with the heel of my left hand as I kissed him to catch his moan in my mouth. "Come on. We've got to go man the desk," I reminded him.

"I don't think I can walk straight," he admitted.

"Wait a couple of minutes, then," I told him. "I'll meet you there."

* * *

It had been less than five minutes since I'd set the sign to "Open" when someone came in carrying a black case. "Good afternoon," he said. "My name is Thomas Milligan. I'm looking for Martha Jones."

Shit! Martha's fiancée! She'd told me he didn't know about us, and yet here he was. "Who told you she might be here?" I inquired.

"Letitia Jones," he told me, "her sister. She said to ask for Jack Harkness at Tourist Information, across from the Millennium Centre in Cardiff."

"I'm Jack's sister," I fibbed. "Sage." I forgot and reached out with my injured hand. Luckily he stopped short before clasping it.

"You're hurt!" he gasped. "My God... They told me it was awful, but still... Sorry. I'm a doctor. I was in Africa, coming back, when the whole ATMOS thing happened. Frankly all I saw was the sky on fire."

"I'm sorry," I said. "Martha isn't here."

"But she was," Doctor Milligan said, turning my forearm over as he inspected my bandages. "You're wearing her perfume. The chocolate and orange one. Misfortune."

"She gave it to me," I told him, taking my hand back. "And it's Miss Fortune. Honestly, though, Doctor Milligan, Martha isn't here."

"You wouldn't lie to me, would you, Sage Smith?" he asked me, and I gasped. "You're not really Harkness's sister. Martha told me you're his girlfriend. And his," he gestured toward Ianto as he entered with two coffees, one of them my specially-made chocolate cappuccino with chocolate sprinkles. "Ianto Jones, right? Jones, no relation. She described you to a T. Carries coffee, gorgeous suits, kind eyes."

"W-who did?" Ianto stammered.

"Martha," Tom said simply.

"This is Thomas Milligan," I explained. "Martha's fiancée. Tish told him he might find her here."

"She left night before last," Ianto told him.

"Do you know where she is?" Dr Milligan pressed.

"Last we heard she was at work," Ianto lied.

"She said you were ad hoc, but this is outrageous," Tom further remarked, gesturing to the cramped information booth in which we stood. "Torchwood Three, right?" Ianto grimaced. "Please tell me where she is."

"She's with my father," I admitted.

"You're the Doctor's daughter?" Milligan inquired, finally surprised by _something_.

I nodded. "Martha will be fine. I'm sorry Tish didn't realise—"

"That was a lie, actually," he admitted. "I wanted to be sure who I was dealing with. Martha sent me an e-mail. Well, programmed an e-mail to be sent to me if she hadn't returned from Operation Blue Sky by today. There was a video attached and she explained about Torchwood Cardiff, who you were, what you do, and where I could find you. She said you'd need a medic if she wasn't back, and asked me to come here. I'm a paediatrician, but she said she thought I could handle it. So here I am."

I walked around the desk, past Ianto, and put my arms around Tom Milligan's shoulders. "I'm so glad you're here," I murmured. "We do need you, very much. You weren't even sure if she was still alive when you came here, were you." I felt him shake his head.

"Thomas Milligan?" Jack spoke up behind me. I moved out of the way. "Captain Jack Harkness."

Tom shook his hand. "I'm so sorry for your losses," he said. "Martha explained."

"I knew she was considering this option, but frankly I never expected her to go through with it," Jack admitted.

_Now__ who's been keeping secrets?_ I shot into his mind.

_Save it_, Jack shot back. "Come on in," he told the young doctor, and that's how Tom Milligan came to meet Laura Harding. And John Hart.

"I'm sorry," Tom apologized upon their introduction. "I'm generally good with names, but I don't recall Martha mentioning you."

"We haven't met yet, actually," John said. "Just missed each other, like ships in the fog."

"Who set all this up?" he inquired, gesturing toward the medical equipment surrounding Laura.

"Sage and Ianto, mostly," Jack said. "Sage was a nurse, and Ianto... Well, he's Ianto. He can learn just about anything by watching someone, and he picked up a few things from our medic."

"Why are her sedatives set this high?" Tom asked, looking directly at me.

"She was trying to pull the tube out," I explained, blushing. Had I done something wrong?

"With this level of toxicity, it's amazing she's regained consciousness at all, never mind trying to get the tube out. She's absolutely not ready to be taken off the ventilator, and this is exactly the dosage I would have recommended," Dr Milligan stated. "Well done." He smiled at me, and I smiled back. Martha was right; he _was_ very cute. "Did she recognize you?"

"She was coherent," I told him. He frowned, John chuckling from his seat next to the gurney. _I can read minds_, I sent into Tom's head, trying not to giggle when he stared at me wide-eyed. "Don't worry; I can't go into your head like it's a filing cabinet. You usually have to direct a thought at me for me to catch it, unless you're thinking very hard... Yes, I'm an alien," I answered the question he'd been forming in his mind, "but don't worry, I'm the good kind."

"Could I have a look at those stitches?" he gestured toward my arm. "You're bleeding." I dropped into the med bay, landing like a cat.

"Oh, Ianto, my coffee," I protested, remembering the treat I'd left behind. He smiled at me, part amusement and part melancholy, then went off to fetch our mugs. "I'm not so good at resting when I'm injured," I told Tom Milligan frankly as he began cutting away the gauze. "I guess I must have split the stitches."

"Probably when you rode the handrail earlier," John remarked. "Laura was choking," he explained when Tom gave him an odd look. "You're pretty," John said teasingly. "I like you."

"Johnny," I admonished, chuckling, "please behave."

"All right, but only because he's taken," he conceded. "Next pretty boy who walks in here, I call first dibs."

"What on Earth got you?" Tom asked me, staring at the deep scratches on my palm and the puncture wound in my wrist.

"A rose is a rose is a rose," I quipped. "Thorns."

"I'd have guessed razor wire," he said. "Still, you've only split two stitches, and this is excellent work. It shouldn't leave much of a scar... Who stitched you up? I know you were a nurse, but you're right-handed."

"Excellent observation," Jack put in. "We did," he pointed to John and himself. "We were soldiers. Picked things up along the way."

"Don't bother with the anaesthesia for just two," I told Tom as he was fishing for a hypodermic. "I didn't even feel them split," I admitted. "I don't feel pain the same way you do."

"You're sure?"

"Yeah. Tattoos hurt worse than my arm does, and I've got two."

"Don't ever tell anyone I stitched up a patient with no anaesthesia. I'll never live it down," he said before puncturing my arm.

"You sound just like her," I chuckled. Just then Ianto came up beside me with my coffee. "Thank you, Ianto," I murmured, kissing him on the cheek.

"You drink your coffee like she does. Cappuccino with chocolate sprinkles," Tom noted.

"Mine has a secret weapon. There's a teaspoon of chocolate syrup in here," I said.

"Well, now it's not a secret," Tom pointed out.

"That's not the secret," I said enigmatically, then smiled at Ianto again.

"Oh," Thomas said, mildly amused, and more than a little touched. "Love." After he'd finished stitching my arm up and was putting on a fresh dressing, he said, "Martha told me to take special care of you, Sage Smith. She asked me to keep your secrets, all of them, whatever they may be." I was speechless. "She said she loves you like a sister." I smiled at him, trying to hold back the tears that had sprung to my eyes. "I'm sorry I made her feel bad about that perfume. Truth is, I just didn't like it on her. Suits you, though," he told me. "Done. I think your friend Laura is going to be receiving better care than any other ATMOS victim on the planet with friends like you," he said, and smiled at all of us, even John (who had just hit on him).

Thomas Milligan wasn't at all what I'd expected, He was so much more...

"Ianto," I said softly, "we should get back to work. Doctor Milligan, it's a pleasure to have you here."

"Tom," he said, "and the pleasure is mine. Unexpected, practically unbelievable, but a pleasure nonetheless."

I returned his smile, took the arm Ianto offered me, and made my way back up to floor level. Jack gave me an odd, inquiring look as I passed him, but he didn't ask whatever it was he wanted to know, vocally or otherwise.

Ianto and I spent a few hours together in the Tourist Information office, sitting in comfortable silence together, every so often indulging in a tender kiss. I was dozing against his shoulder when the other two people I was hoping would come finally arrived.


	3. Chapter 3

"Hey," Gwen said brightly, Rhys a half-step behind with his hand in hers. "I heard we got us a rather unexpected new doctor."

"Mm, we did," I murmured, rubbing my eyes. "Sorry. I'm exhausted," I said apologetically. "Ianto, I think I need a hand up." He helped me cautiously to my feet, keeping his hand on my waist as I beckoned for the others to follow us. "Rhys, would you mind turning the sign over? Thanks. You're a love." Ianto hit the button that locked the outer doors and opened the inner sanctum, and we all walked in to find Jack teasing John about something they'd done in their youth, something about John in a blue dress, and Tom Milligan trying hard not to laugh as he checked Laura's pupils with a penlight.

_If they don't stop I'll poke her in the eye!_ he thought.

"Hey," Gwen called out, still rather chirpy for a girl who'd been under lockdown during the possible end of the world just the day before.

"The gang's all here!" Jack exclaimed, ecstatic to see her and Rhys. They were all high on being alive, I suppose. I was practically dead on my feet myself. Jack ran up to Gwen and Rhys, grabbing them both in a bear hug, then ushered them down to Tom. "Thomas Milligan, this is Gwen Cooper, and Rhys Williams."

"Formerly PC Cooper, right?" Tom ventured, taking her hand.

"Yeah, that's right," she said.

"You're the husband," Tom then said to Rhys.

"Aye, just the husband," Rhys said jokingly.

"There's no 'just' about you, Rhys Williams," I put in. "He did more to organize the repairs to the roads in and out of Cardiff than any of the city officials. If not for him, you may not have even been able to get to us," I told Tom. Rhys was blushing.

"Well, then I'm equally pleased to meet you, Rhys," Tom said, shaking Rhys's hand firmly.

Jack was giving me another odd look. He was smiling at me, appreciative of the effort I was making to help Rhys feel included and comfortable with us, but the smile wasn't quite reaching his eyes. "Ianto," he finally said, "hold her still."

"Jack?" Ianto inquired.

"Don't let her move. It's important."

Oh, no... He could tell what was wrong with me. I was hoping he'd overlook it until I could do something about it myself. It was embarrassing.

"Sage?" Ianto murmured to me as he held me very still. "What's wrong?"

"One of her hearts has stopped," Jack told him, lifting me into his arms. Ianto looked stricken as he followed him down into the med bay.

"Sorry... Did you say _one_ of her hearts?" Tom asked Jack.

"Binary vascular system," Jack said a bit shortly. "Sorry about this, Sage, but the bed's taken," Jack told me apologetically, laying me on my back on the floor. "I need to borrow your stethoscope," he told Tom.

"It's all right, Jack. It's the left one," I told him, grimacing.

"How long, Sage?" he asked me sternly.

"About ten minutes. How could you tell?"

"How long have I known you?" he tossed back. "Tom, the defibrillator, please." He went about unbuttoning my blouse, wiping a stray tear from my cheek as he finished.

"How much voltage?" Tom asked him, having gelled the paddles, kneeling on the floor at my left side.

"Set it to 300 joules. One here, one here," he showed Tom where to place the paddles.

"What'll this do to her other heart?"

"Make it skip a beat or two. She'll be fine."

"If you say so," Tom conceded warily. "Clear." He gave me a good jolt, and my body bucked with the force of it. "Did it work?" he asked me.

"No, hit me again," I told him. "Set it to 400."

"Has it got that?" he blurted, then saw it went as high as 600 joules. "Christ. Four hundred. Clear."

That second jolt made me whack my head a good one on the floor, but it worked. "Ow," I complained, putting my hand to my head. My fingers came away bloody. "Shit," I spat.

"I'll get that," Tom told me rather calmly, considering. "How's the heart?"

"I'm good, Tom, thank you," I said softly. He put his stethoscope to my chest anyway, to be sure.

"How did you know?" he asked Jack. "What are the symptoms? Can't have this happening when she's unconscious and you're not here and me not realizing it," he pointed out.

"Sudden extreme exhaustion, ashen complexion, dark circles under her eyes... The eyes are the give-away. Sage never gets those unless she's having a hard time breathing, do you, Sage."

"You're a pain. I was going to take care of it myself," I whispered to Jack when Tom went for some gauze to see to the back of my head.

"How? Slam your back against a few walls and hope for the best? No," Jack countered, not bothering to keep his voice low. "There's been enough death. I won't lose you, too."

"Leave her be, Jack," Ianto said, standing over us. "She was trying not to worry you."

"Worry me, Sage," Jack exclaimed, frustrated. "Please. For goodness' sake, worry me! Stop trying to spare me, all right?"

"It was Ianto I was sparing," I admitted softly as I sat up.

"I'd rather you didn't," he admitted, too.

"My boys," I chuckled, my hand on the goose-egg on the back of my head. Tom had knelt behind me without me realizing it until he gently moved my hand away.

"Jack," he said, handing him an alcohol wipe for my hand. "This'll sting, Sage," he then told me softly, flushing the wound with saline. He dabbed at it with some gauze. "You're all right. It's already stopped bleeding," he told me as Jack was tenderly cleaning my hand. Ianto knelt before me and buttoned up my blouse. Rhys and Gwen had been clutching each other silently throughout the entire incident. John had been pacing.

"I'm sorry," I apologized to everyone. There were a few statements of how they were just glad I was okay, but as Ianto and Jack helped me up, John was still silent. "Johnny? Are you angry?" He came around Laura's bed, all clomping boots and dark eyes, looking dangerous with his long, arrogant stride... and pulled my face up to his, kissing me firmly on the lips.

"Don't you ever dare scare me like that again," he hissed, fighting back tears. "Go home," he told me. "Sleep. I'll see you in the morning." He turned away from me then. "Jack, I'm stealing your bed. Hope you weren't planning on using it." He didn't wait for an answer before walking away.

"Ianto, take her home," Jack said, agreeing with John. "You three, with me. Laura... Get better." I had just tucked myself into Ianto's side when Jack said. "And Sage... I love you, too. Get some sleep."

"Let's drive," Ianto whispered to me once the others, minus Laura, of course, had followed him up to the board room. "That was quite a knock you took. Wouldn't want us to materialize inside of a wall or something."

"I _am_ sorry," I told him again.

"And I should have realized, so I'm sorry, too. Come on. We _both_ need rest."

We were sound asleep by the time Jack came in, me with my ear to Ianto's heart, as was my habit. I found it soothing... the beat of the single human heart. My wounded right hand was cradled against Ianto's chest.

I stirred when Jack climbed into bed with us, but didn't wake. Ianto's eyes drifted open, though, and he smiled at Jack over my head. They shared a tender kiss, then slept, hands clasped on Ianto's stomach, embracing me as they held onto each other in the dark.

* * *

"Jack says I'm supposed to teach you something that goes against the Hippocratic Oath today," I murmured to Tom. He nodded, but made no remark as he adjusted Laura's sedative feed. "Ever fired a gun before?"

"Maybe in another lifetime," he remarked, and I flinched. "What?"

"Nothing," I lied. The truth was he _had_ fired a gun before. He'd been a resistance fighter at the end of the world. Since that timeline had been created by a paradox, though, and the paradox had been remedied, he had no memory of it. "It's just my dad is a Doctor, and he'd hate it that I carry a gun, never mind that I intend to teach another doctor how to fire one."

"Well, if I'm as bad at it as I expect to be," he said, "no harm done."

"I don't expect you'll be bad at all," I told him. "Is she settled?" I asked of Laura.

"For now. And here comes John, her steadfast bodyguard. If we're doing this, I suppose now is the time."

* * *

"Slower, slower," I told Tom as he brought the 9mil up like a flash for the second time. The gun wasn't even loaded, but I could tell he would have overshot his mark yet again. "Think of it as the steps of a dance," I murmured, pushing his hand down gently.

"What?" he blurted, chuckling.

"You do dance, don't you?" I teased him.

"A bit," he said. "When the opportunity arises. Which isn't often in my line of work."

I took the gun from his hand and set it aside. "Watch," I said. "Face me. I'm going to aim at that target," I said, pointing, but it was my leg which I lifted gracefully until my toes were aimed directly at the bulls-eye. "See? It's the same with your arm," I told him, lowering my leg.

"Wow," he voiced a bit shakily. "Which planet are you from again? They don't make girls like you on Earth."

"Sure they do. I trained in Russia, not on Mars," I teased him. "Give me your hand." I clasped his hand gently with my bandaged right one. "Now, if we were to dance together, how would you lift our hands?" He raised his arm, pushing mine up with it, in a smooth, graceful arc. "That's perfect!" I complimented him, grinning. "See? It's not so complicated."

"Maybe not," Tom remarked, "but _you_ are."

"Thanks," I chuckled, putting the gun back in his right hand and turning him so his back was to me. I laid my hand over his. "Now, dance," I murmured. His arm came up with the same grace as before, and this time dead on target. "Very good," I told him, then felt him clasp my other hand. I had set it on his waist without thinking anything of it. He moved it to his chest.

"My heart is racing," he told me, although he didn't need to. I was pressed against his back. I could hear it.

"It's just adrenaline," I told him.

"Is it?" he countered. "I've stopped wondering how it is that you have two boyfriends," he remarked.

"Oh, no, they were together first. I just sort of... fell back in with Jack, I guess you could say. Falling in love with Ianto was a complete surprise. A wonderful one, but still unexpected."

"And John? Where does he fit in?"

"Long story. Complicated. We met when we were kids. Then he was with Jack, a long time ago. He's a good friend, but like I said it's complicated," I tried to explain. "Could I have my hand back? I think maybe Ianto should do this," I said shakily.

"Ianto's busy," he reminded me. "I want _you_ to teach me, anyway. I didn't mean to make you nervous," he said apologetically, releasing my hands and facing me.

"Neither did I," I murmured.

"Look," Tom said patiently, "I love Martha. I really, truly do. But you're gorgeous. If I _hadn't_ reacted to you at all, I'd think I was dead. So, now that my hormonal interruption is out of the way, you were saying..."

"Right. Guns. Dancing. Back on target," I said firmly. Within an hour, Thomas Milligan had become a damn good shot. In less time than that, he'd earned my respect... and, I must admit, a place in my heart.


	4. Chapter 4

I was helping Ianto catalogue Class D artefacts that had been left unsorted since before Cardiff D Day when Jack told me he needed me.

"Just one second, Jack," I replied through my earpiece. "There's something a bit beyond Class D here. A gun, Sycorax in origin, charge depleted, but it's still a danger if the canister ruptures."

"Radiation?" Jack asked me.

"Of the worst kind imaginable."

"Have Ianto seal it up and tag it; I'll deal with it later," Jack said. "I really need you out here."

"On my way," I replied. "That's vision correction," I told Ianto, pointing to a large metal ring. "Class C, not D. Don't touch the buttons." He eyed it curiously, as it was big enough to be a bracelet, and I chuckled, pressing a kiss to his forehead as I stood. "Seal and tag the blaster," I told him. "I'll be back."

"Talk him out of it, will you?" John said in a huff as I passed him on my way into the medical area where Laura was finally being taken off the ventilator.

"Talk you out of what, Jack?" I inquired, arms crossed. Then I noticed the hypodermic on the tray next to her. "You're Retconning Laura?"

"It's her choice, not mine," he told me. "She wants to forget."

"Well, you're not exactly trying to change her mind, are you!" I exclaimed, giving him a shove.

"Sage," a raspy voice called to me. I went to her.

"Why?" I asked Laura.

"I'm out of my depth," she whispered. _And there's you_, she sent into my mind. _I don't think my life will ever be normal again if I don't forget you, Sage._

"What the hell do you need _me_ for?" I asked Jack. "Why not just get it over with, then?"

"She needs false memories," he told me. "You're the only one who can see into her mind. Shift things," he told me. "You've done it before."

"Hours, Jack, not days," I reminded him.

"I know," he conceded. "Too much has happened for a complete blank to suffice, though. I need her to believe she never left London. She needs an alibi for the time she was away from work, and memories of the ATMOS gas. Can you manage that?"

"You're going to owe me _big_ for this one, Jack," I said. "Planting false memories is one thing. Bad ones is quite another."

"Why do you think John's so pissed?"

"Laura," I asked, "are you really sure?" She nodded. "All right, then... This is probably going to hurt, but try to relax and just trust me, all right? I need to see into your mind, and not just the surface stuff."

"I trust you," she husked.

I put my hands on the sides of her face, pushing past Torchwood, the ATMOS cloud, the night she met Ianto and me. I saw her job, how she felt about it, how she was so often overlooked and belittled by her co-workers. I could hear her moaning in pain with my ears and with my mind, but I needed to see to do right by her. When I withdrew, I did so slowly.

"Tom, the injection," I heard Jack say.

"Wait," I interrupted, steadying myself against the bed. "Laura," I whispered, "are you sure you want to go back to that?"

She nodded. "It'll get better one day," she murmured. "And besides, I won't know any different, will I."

"I will," I blurted.

She smiled. "Please, Sage. It really is my choice."

"Go ahead," I told Tom. "Goodbye, Laura Harding. Keep thinking beyond the boundaries of normal," I whispered, kissing her gently on the lips. A moment later she was unconscious. When I was sure the Retcon had taken, I went back into her mind. I fed her memories of a cold that had kept her from work, the minutiae of her lonely home life interspersed with coughing spells and even vomiting. Then I forced the ATMOS into her apartment. Her mind tried to fight me off, as she was awake enough inside her mind to be afraid of what she was seeing. I forced the choking, forced the fight to block the smoke out, forced in the feeling of passing out before being able to fully fight back... then I withdrew.

"Sage?" Tom said as I looked up from Laura's still form, my face pale and clammy. "Oh, God..." He reached for some gauze and wiped my nose and mouth. Something in my brain had ruptured. I was bleeding.

As Tom tried to clean me up, I took off my wrist strap clumsily and handed it to Jack, who looked stricken. "Sitting room floor," I told him. "Dial 999 and leave her before she wakes up."

"I'll make this up to you somehow," he said gravely, tears in his eyes.

"Go." Tom was barely even distracted by the fact that Jack and Laura had just disappeared right next to him. "Dear Goddess, I wasn't built for this," I murmured, my head throbbing.

"Shh... It's okay. You're okay."

"No, I'm not. You know better," I countered. "Diagnosis, Doctor Milligan?"

"Aneurysm," he murmured. "If I'd known, I would have stopped you."

"He wouldn't have let you," John voiced, returning from wherever he'd gone to wait it out. "Lay her down, doctor."

"She'll drown—"

"It's stopped already. Lay her down." Tom obeyed. "All right, little one. What's your name?"

"Sage," I replied.

"When were you born?"

"Minus 8.5 years PF."

"PF?" Tom inquired.

"Planet Fall," John explained. "Her home planet burned. She counts backward from that day. What's your father's name, Sage?"

"The Doctor."

"Mother?"

"I don't know. Father never said."

"His first wife's name?"

"Patience. They had a son. He never told me his name."

"Second wife?"

"You know better. That was my mother."

"Who was Miranda?"

"My sister. He says not, but she was."

"How is that possible?"

"Parallel Gallifrey. Daughter instead of son. Then Zezanne instead of Susan."

"Who was Susan?"

"My niece. His granddaughter."

"When did you come to Earth?"

"New Year's Day, 1900."

"The first person you met?"

"Jack Harkness," I said tearily.

"And how old are you now?"

"One hundred and sixteen, John. Leave me alone."

"No. What type of TARDIS does your father have?"

"Type 40. Female."

"When did we first meet?"

"Minus One PF."

"Where?"

"Mount Cadon."

"What did I always call you?"

"Mouth. Because I talked too much."

"What's your favourite flower?"

"Purple roses."

"Do Sterling roses have thorns?"

"Look at my fucking hand, John! Some do!" I exclaimed.

"She's fine," John told Tom Milligan, who had been listening intently to the entire exchange. "I'll be right back."

"Are you really one-hundred-sixteen years old?" Tom asked me as he wiped the rest of the blood from my face with a damp cloth.

"Yes. I'm just a kid," I told him with a tired smile. "Did you know what Jack was up to? Was that the meeting last night?"

"He explained Retcon," he admitted, "and said he'd offer Laura the choice. He never mentioned what you would have to do."

"I generally don't have to. Normally someone who's been Retconned just has a blank spot in their memory. Jack has one himself that spans two years."

"I suppose that's why he wanted Laura to have memories, even if they're false ones," he murmured. "Did he know what it'd do to you?"

"He suspected. Last time I gave someone a few false hours I had quite the headache. My nose bled a bit the day after, then I was fine," I admitted.

"How could he ask you to do it, then?"

"Because he knew I would. For him. You heard John's questions. I've known Jack just over a century, and he knows me far too well. I've risked my life for him before. I'll do it a thousand times more if he needs me to," I murmured.

"But why?"

"Because I love him." Ianto ran to me just then, pulling me into his arms and very nearly off the bed. "Whoa! Easy, Ianto. I'm fine."

"I'll kill him," he spat.

"And he'll get right back up and be pissed at you, same as when Owen killed him. It's all right," I said soothingly.

"No, it's not," he said, crying against my shoulder. "You can't regenerate if you're unconscious! He could have killed you!"

"I could have said no," I pointed out. He pulled away just far enough to press his mouth to mine in frantic, passionate kisses.

"Wow," Jack remarked behind him, arriving just then. Ianto let go of me and swung around, landing a rather fantastic right hook to his jaw. "Okay," Jack said, grimacing. "I deserved that."

"You're lucky I don't even you out," John said mildly from just above him. "Except that she made a good point. She could have said no... I'm going to go use up some of your ammunition downstairs," he said as he turned away.

"I waited for the medics," Jack told me, but I'd figured as much. He walked right past Ianto, who was still fuming, to put my VM back on my left wrist. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I am now," I told him. "You missed the gusher."

"I didn't want her to have—"

"I know, Jack. Gaps are bad. But you _did_ deserve Ianto's fist in your face."

"I know," he admitted.

"I'm taking him out for a bit, okay? Don't know where, but far," I said, swinging my legs off the bed and standing. Tom opened his mouth to say something, but then he realized I was quite steady on my feet and favoured me with a curious smile instead. "Ianto," I murmured. He was still angry, but mostly he looked betrayed. "Hey, want to get out of here?" He nodded. "Where do you want to go?"

"Anywhere," he husked.

"Scotland?" I suggested. He nodded again. "Let's go to Inverness. See if Nessie's out today." That finally got him to smile. I put my arms about his waist. He rested his chin on my shoulder and we teleported out of there.

In our wake, Tom asked Jack, "The Loch Ness Monster is real?"

"Sure," Jack told him. "She's pretty friendly, when she gets to know you."


	5. Chapter 5

In the wake of the ATMOS crisis, Loch Ness was tourist-free. It seemed that even during what seemed to be the end of the world, people had feared Nessie enough not to approach her rather infamous lake home.

Ianto took off his jacket and we sat on the grassy shore. I let him work his way through his bad mood in silence. I knew he was feeling better when he hooked his arm about my shoulders and pulled me close for a tender kiss.

"Why _didn't_ you say no?" he asked me. I guess he'd heard me after all, even in his pain and rage.

"Remember how I was when we met?" I said softly. "I only remembered eight years of my life. The rest was a blank. Blanks are awful."

"It was only a few days for Laura. Don't you think she could have handled it?"

"Truthfully? No, I don't, Ianto. She doesn't have much self-confidence as it is." He nodded, conceding the point.

"You knew it could kill you."

"Jack needed me," I shrugged.

"I need you, too," he chided. "Are you just going to abandon me if he asks you to?"

"No, Ianto," I said gravely. "That's the one thing he can never ask of me. But I don't want to outlive you," I admitted. "I want to live one lifetime, love you, and die. Be a person, you know?"

"Outlive me, Sage," Ianto murmured, kissing my temple. "Please. And if you can, outlive Jack, like you said you would."

"I don't know why I said that," I reminded him. "I don't remember knowing anything even remotely like what I said."

"You said you were still young, still you, but that Jack would die a long time from now. Do you think that means you're leaving?" Ianto asked me.

"I'd never leave you, Ianto. Not ever," I told him firmly.

"You said I was already dead."

"I said 'lost', not dead. That could mean anything. Rose is lost, but she's very much alive, and I think she's trying to get back, don't you?"

He nodded. "I still think you meant dead, though, Sage. You said you'd fade away."

I shushed him, pressing my lips to his, tears slipping through my lashes. "Let's just love each other, Ianto, all right? You, me, and that arrogant man called Jack."

He chuckled, pulling me into his lap so that I straddled him. "That's the easy part."

We kissed languidly for nearly an hour before stepping into the trees and teleporting back to the Hub.

* * *

"I don't understand you anymore," John told me. He'd long-since vented his frustrations about what Jack had asked me to do that day, and we were sitting outside, having ice cream, just like tourists, while he told me exactly how much he thought I'd changed. "The risks you took when we were kids... none of them would have killed you."

"Oh, do you think?" I countered. "I'll tell you how the Council never detected you on Gallifrey. Maybe that'll change your mind."

"How?" he asked me. It was something he'd always been curious about and I had never said.

"I blocked your Vortex Manipulator's signature in the system. Made you invisible. I was under house arrest the day of Planet Fall; they'd caught your new signature leaving. Why the hell else would I have teleported out of the _dorms_? They wanted to expel me, but there was no one to take me in and a reputation to uphold," I told him. "They only allowed me to undergo Initiation because they hoped I'd be one of the ones to go mad, and when I passed they allowed me to continue my studies, but nothing else. I think they were afraid of me."

"Why didn't they confiscate the old Vortex Manipulator? How did you hide it?" he inquired, looking impressed, albeit confused.

"You know that case that holds my TARDIS key? I hadn't put a deadlock seal on it yet. And it's bigger on the inside, of course. I sealed it up, tucked it away, no one was the wiser."

"How could you fool the entire Council? I mean, the Arteran Seek is one thing, but Time Lords of the highest order—"

"Johnny," I interjected, "I'm an Individual. I can shield my mind. The Arterans only caught what they did because I didn't think to hide it."

"Aren't Individuals born only once every thousand years?"

"I'm an exception. A freak of nature," I said.

"Well, long live the freaks," John remarked, licking strawberry ice cream from my fingers without even thinking about what he was doing. It felt delicious, so I didn't stop him. "Does Jack know?"

"Nope," I admitted. "No one does. Just you."

"Not even your father?" he pressed.

"I think he suspected. I'm beginning to think that's why he left me on Gallifrey for Initiation. He knew I was special. There's a lot I don't know because I was never schooled in it, but there's a lot I can do that no one can begin to fathom. Like the Empathic Healing trick, or re-wiring Laura's brain. These things cost me, but _no one else can do them_. No one ever could! Do you see?" I tried to explain.

"You get off on it, don't you," John remarked.

"Always did. Why do you think it was _me_ who found you when you first crossed into forbidden territory? I was sort of waiting for someone like you," I admitted.

"You should come with me when I leave, Sage," he said. "I know a girl who can fix your Vortex Manipulator. We could go anywhere and everywhere, you and I."

"I'll think about it, Johnny," I told him.

He looked wounded. "No you won't. You've got your boys," he said shortly, tossing the rest of his ice cream in the trash.

"That's why I'm going to think about it," I admitted softly. "I'm too dangerous."

"And you think I can handle you?"

"Maybe," I murmured. "I might get you killed, though. You know that, don't you?"

"Better than _they_ do," he agreed. "You think about it, then. I doubt I'll be staying put much longer. Jack's only letting me stay because he thinks you're good for me. Poor sod."

"I'm your angel and your devil, John Hart," I said. "You think about it, too, all right?"

I kissed him softly on the lips, then stood to walk back inside the Hub, looking right at the camera above me as I approached. I knew Jack was watching me. I'd known all along.

* * *

"How does she do that?" Gwen asked Tom as I was pirouetting madly to a piece by Lizt. (1)

"Do what?" he asked her mildly as he watched me.

"Not fall off the boardroom table," she pointed out.

"Russian training," he smirked.

"Jack should stop her before she breaks something," she remarked. "Hers or ours."

"Too busy watching her," Tom said, and he was right. Jack had me on CCTV in his office. He had no desire to stop me. When the Lizt piece finished, I slowed into Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata". (2) Gwen rolled her eyes and got back to work. Tom, not having any work, kept watching.

"Glorious, isn't she," John remarked suddenly from beside him, making Tom jump. "You don't want to stare too hard. You'll make a lot of people jealous."

"Who are you really?" Tom asked him out of simple human curiosity.

"I _was_ a con man," he replied. "The best. _Now_, though? Not sure. Still working on it," he admitted. "If you're smart," he added softly, "you'll keep your distance from her."

"Why's that?" Tom inquired, suspicious.

"All fire burns," John said simply, then turned to walk away.

Mere seconds later, I loosed an ear-splitting scream, falling limply across the boardroom table with a hand to my chest. Jack came at a run, calling for Ianto through his comms. John and Tom were too stunned to move at first, the former springing to action far sooner than the latter, but both arriving after Ianto and even Gwen.

"Is she breathing, Jack?" Gwen inquired shakily. He shook his head, clasping the hand I had put to my chest. Ianto took my other hand. Both my hearts had stopped. Clinically, I was dead.

"Come on, Sage," Jack murmured through his tears. "You're supposed to outlive me, remember?" He kissed my stilled lips, the healing kiss he so rarely used, and I gasped, my eyes flashing open as my hearts kicked back to life.

"Jenny," I whispered.

"What?" John blurted.

"She's okay now," I said softly to Jack and Ianto, squeezing their hands. "It sorted itself."

"What did?" Jack asked me.

"The paradox. The paradox that stopped one of my hearts. I couldn't see past it until he experienced it."

"The Doctor?" I nodded. "What paradox, Sage?"

"Jenny," I told him. "Ontological Paradox Jenny. She's one day old."

"Wait a second... The sister you were so worried about is a _baby_?"

"Sister?" John echoed.

"Soldier," I clarified. "She was, anyway. My dad... he changed her. She's a bigger pacifist than I am. And the way she moves! Oh, Jack, she's wonderful... and terrifying."

"Why were you dead just now?" Ianto inquired, which was an interesting question.

"Jenny was," I said, frowning. "Did I die?"

"Jenny _died_?" John pressed.

"I guess it must have shocked my system. I've been tied to that paradox since Initiation; my father never saw it coming. Probably because it was supposed to happen. _Jenny_ was supposed to happen."

"I'm lost," Jack admitted.

"Dad was cloned. Well... sort of. His DNA was replicated into an entirely new person. Gallifreyan, but not a Time Lord, and the TARDIS pulled him there because it was his DNA, but he arrived before Jenny was created, which is how they got the genetic material to create her to begin with."

"Right. Ontological Paradox," Ianto said in his calm, grave voice.

"You mean you just understood that?" Jack asked him.

"Chicken and the egg," Ianto simplified it for me.

"Exactly," I said.

"But she died?" Jack ventured.

"Shot in the heart."

"Can't she re-generate?" Gwen ventured. "I mean, _you_ can, right? So can't your sister?"

"No," I whispered, "but there was this mist... Everything I can't see because of fog or mist turns out to actually _be _fog or mist, did you know that, Jack? Anyway, it was a terraforming agent, fantastic, and she inhaled it before she died. Then zap! Back to life. And she's out there now, somewhere, some when, trying to be like Dad. Isn't that incredible?"

"Jenny Smith?" John ventured. "Blonde girl, blue eyes, pretty smile, nice tits?"

"John!" Gwen exclaimed.

"Yeah, that's her. Do you know her?" I asked him.

"Who could forget her? I met her on Cerus in 6013. She's the one I said could fix your Vortex Manipulator," he admitted.

"Well, she can't now. I can't go see her. No idea _what_ I might screw up," I pointed out. "She's an anomaly to begin with. Goddess knows what mayhem I could unleash," I remarked casually.

"She's your sister," Gwen said gently.

"Yeah, and that's why I can't seek her out. If we're destined to meet, I sure haven't been informed of it. The mere fact that we share DNA and I was aware of her nearly killed me. Twice. I can't risk it."

"Do you know if Martha's all right?" Tom asked me. Just then, his mobile rang. "Martha? Are you all right? Yeah, I am. Oh... sure. Sage, she wants to talk to you."

"Hey," I said into the phone.

"Did you know you had a sister?" she asked me. "Is that why you said not to tell him about you no matter what? You knew about Jenny?"

"Yeah, I knew," I admitted.

"Well, he's devastated," Martha told me. "He was finally feeling like a father again, and now she's _dead_. He says that part of him died when his children died. Can't you just tell him you're alive? He needs you, Sage."

"He's better off without me. So... how is this Noble woman? Is she good for him?"

"Oh, yeah. Puts him in his place right proper. You knew about Donna?"

"I do now," I said, but didn't clarify.

"Well, he's off again. Running. Can I have Tom back?"

"Yeah, just a—"

"No, put Jack on, please, Sage." I knew what she was going to ask of him before I handed over the phone. She wanted Tom Retconned. She wanted him back with no memories of us, no memories of her having gone missing... no memories of me.

Ianto was the one who took care of it in the end. He slipped it to Tom in his coffee. I slipped into Tom's mind and made him believe he'd just gotten back from Africa that day. The nosebleed was very minor. I don't think I fried too many brain cells doing it. It was the right thing. She deserved him back intact, unchanged, without guns. She deserved the man she'd never intended to leave behind.

I loaned Jack my VM and went to sit with Ianto. Gwen went home. None of us noticed John leaving. I didn't know he'd followed Jack. They went to Cerus, the year 6013, and Jenny fixed my time travelling circuit, my hologram recorder... the works.

"Quite a young Time Agent, this one, eh?" Jenny remarked to John.

"She's pretty special," Jack replied.

"Well, bring her along sometime," she told them with one of her bright smiles.

* * *

1) Études D'exécution Transcendante D'après Paganini – La Campanella In G Sharp minor

2) Piano Sonata #14 In C Sharp Minor, Op. 27/2, "Moonlight" – 1. Adagio Sostenuto. (Yes, I was listening to _100 Best Piano Classics_ as I wrote these fics; Sage is following the track listing of Disc 1.)


	6. Chapter 6

"Late birthday present," Jack told me as he strapped my VM back on my arm. "Everything works now."

"You didn't!" I cried out.

"She's cute," he added. "Nice kid. Definitely the Doctor's daughter. One hundred percent your sister."

"Two hundred," I corrected him with tears in my eyes. "Did she fix yours?" I asked him.

"Didn't tell her it was broken," he shrugged. "I think it's too dangerous for anomalies like me to move through time too casually. Well, Jenny said something to that effect about herself. She said there was plenty of Universe to see in her own Time Zone anyway."

"She talks like a Time Lord," I remarked, smiling.

"She says her father told her that being a Time Lord comes from long-standing traditions and it was a legacy she hadn't inherited, being pre-programmed for war. She also said she knew he'd loved her, and for her that was enough. I don't think she expects to see him again," Jack told me.

"_I_ will, someday," I murmured, "but I'm meant to wait. I don't know about Jenny. Maybe someday he'll find her, too. The problem is, in both cases, that he isn't looking."

"You let Martha keep believing she's dead," he pointed out.

"Safer that way," I shrugged. "It's not time yet. He's not meant to know, and Martha loves him too much. If he hasn't found Jenny again by the time he comes for me, I suppose I'll tell him."

"Anything new about Rose?" he asked me softly.

"No, Jack, I'm sorry. She wasn't bound to the paradox. Every time I try to focus on her, my head swims. It's like she's drifting," I told him sincerely.

"I don't think she should try to find her, Jack," Ianto finally spoke up beside me. "She fainted again. She was out a full ten minutes. Then I spilled some tea and it snapped her out of it. Weird, that."

"Tea?" Jack inquired, quite a bit more amused than concerned.

"Tea," Ianto assured him. "Don't tell John; I'll never hear the end of it."

"I think my dad mentioned something about tea once, actually," I put in. "Free radicals, anti-oxidants, tannin... He also said something about celery, though. I'd always assumed he meant celery tea," I admitted.

"Well, you were just a kid; it's forgivable," Jack said.

"Most Gallifreyans learn quantum mechanics in infant school," I scoffed. "I was a complete embarrassment."

"You're amazing," Jack protested. "She was a fortune teller for a while," he told Ianto. "Has she told you about that?"

"She told me about the trapeze and working as a contortionist," he replied, then got a wistful, far-away look in his eyes, biting his bottom lip.

"Down, boy," Jack teased, but there was little fun in his voice. "This was before that. Long before, when she was still small. There was a girl who read Tarot; everyone said she was amazingly accurate; and Torchwood wanted to investigate. She was a friend of mine, so I fabricated a few false testimonies about her being a fraud to keep her safe. Torchwood had asked too many questions, though; they weren't very careful back in 1902; and someone started kidnapping little girls that met her description. Brunette, age 8 to 10, thin, long hair. One of the girls meeting that description was an orphan named Miranda Small."

"What did they want her for?" Ianto asked, brow furrowed with worry.

"To see the future," I told him. "To know their fate. And to make a profit. How long did they have me, Jack? That entire episode is a bit of a blur to me now."

"Three months, give or take," he said. "They travelled a lot, and Torchwood kept sending me on errands in the opposite direction. Finally they heard about another strange little girl, this one a palm-reader, and sent me the right way. I found her in Brighton."

"Did they hurt you, Sage?" Ianto inquired, his eyes full of concern.

"A bit. I told them I knew their fate, but I refused to tell them what it was. I made sure I was useful enough to be kept alive," I told him.

"What _was_ their fate?"

"Jack was," I said simply. "Torchwood had never gotten my name. They just called me The Seer. Jack told them I'd been killed; shot in the head; that my brain was useless for study. Peter and Leighton Wolfe met an early end; death by Torchwood. I had to stay hidden for a few years until I grew up a bit. I read too much, didn't I, Jack."

"You always did," he said with a nostalgic smile.

"Where _are_ my books, Jack?" I ventured.

"Storage locker 219, next to Alex Hopkins's things. Sorry I forgot to get them for you," he apologized.

"Not like they fit here," I put in.

"They fit at my place," Ianto supplied. "At least, they should. I've got a whole extra room I've never used. The tenant before me was a professor of literature."

"Are you saying you have a _study_, Ianto?" I asked him, excited. "A _real_ study? With bookshelves?"

"And a desk," he told me. "If I'd known you were a bibliophile, I'd have mentioned it sooner. You look like you've just won the lottery."

"Oh, wow, I have!" I exclaimed.

"Nasty mess, that thing with the Wolfe Brothers," Ianto remarked suddenly, going back to the previous subject. "I read the file. Said they'd dismembered the little girl. I always thought Jack had been right to rid the world of them. Turns out the little girl lived and grew up to be you," he murmured.

"Still think I was right?" Jack asked him.

"More than ever," Ianto admitted. "No one should ever hurt a child in any way, or use them to turn a profit. Especially not a gifted child."

"I'm not gifted enough," I berated myself. "It's a curse."

"You're a blessing," Jack told me, kissing my temple. "And a damn good shot, too. That's why she's been packing iron since she was ten. Too many men out to take advantage of a girl on her own, and I couldn't always be there. I could almost never be there," he admitted.

"I've never killed anyone, though," I said.

"But you've winged a few," Jack remarked. "Many a man has been lucky you're such a good shot." After a moment, he added, "I see your hand's healed."

"Shouldn't have taken this long," I pointed out what he already knew.

"Allergy, maybe?" he ventured.

"Or stress," Ianto put in. "I mean, you had two heart attacks. That's bound to wreak havoc on your immune system no matter what planet you're from."

"What do you think, Doctor Jones?" Jack quipped. "Prescribed bed rest?"

"Definitely," Ianto agreed without missing a beat, "though I doubt there'll be much rest involved."

I chuckled. "And what? Leave John in charge of Hub security?"

"Who said I was going with you? Patients generally only need one doctor," Jack told me softly, kissing me on the forehead.

"Jack..."

"Go on," he said. "I'll keep Vera out of trouble."

"Vera?" I inquired.

"Don't ask," Ianto told me.

"Vera was John's pet viper," I told him. "When did he—"

"Wow," Jack blurted. "His _what_? I thought he was just being cute."

"That thing ate three rats per day," I put in. "Huge."

"And I thought Myfanawy was an odd choice for a pet," Ianto remarked.

"I think he and I are overdue for a chat," Jack decided, turning to leave.

"Just don't let him get on the subject of trouser snakes," Ianto called after him, to which Jack just raised a hand, but I stared. "What?"

I burst out laughing. For Ianto, it was terrible gutter talk, so I guessed it must have been a phrase he learned from Jack. But that was the thing about Ianto. He could surprise you.


	7. Chapter 7

"You're quiet," Ianto remarked. He was giving me a lovely neck rub, but my mind was lightyears away.

"Sorry," I murmured.

"What's bothering you?" he asked me, straight to the point.

"My father," I admitted.

Ianto settled his hands on my shoulders and inquired, tentatively, "What about him?"

"I ran," I told him softly.

"So did he," he reminded me.

"Yes, but first he took a stand. He didn't show the Daleks his back. He was the last man standing. I was the last girl _running_," I pointed out.

"You were only eight."

"No excuse," I scoffed. "Time Lords have duties."

"To protect timelines from paradoxes and such," Ianto murmured. "What exactly did you do the moment you came to Earth? You kept Jack from creating a paradox. You did your duty for a _century_. How is that cowardly?"

"I didn't do it because of the rules," I admitted. "I did it for Jack."

"And Jack re-made Torchwood for your father, in his honour. Protecting the universe for the ones you love is braver than doing it because you're following someone else's rules. Especially when you make sacrifices to protect them, like not being able to see your father, or your sister... Like messing with the computers on Gallifrey to protect John."

"How did you know?" I asked him, astounded and affronted, my shoulders stiffening.

"Jack reads lips," he said matter-of-factly. "I don't want you to leave. Neither does Jack. We're not afraid. If you know something, though... If leaving with John is what you're meant to do, we won't try to stop you." He said this last with tears in his voice, and when I turned on the bed to face him, there were tears in his eyes as well.

"Sweet Ianto... I love you too much," I whispered, crying a few tears of my own.

"Do you think there is such a thing as too much love?" he asked me after a tender kiss.

"Oh, yes," I replied without pause. "I suffer from it constantly," I told him, smiling wryly.

"It is said a shared burden is a lighter one," Ianto ventured, his hands warm on my bare waist.

"I want to show you something," I told him.

"Something tells me it's not what I was hoping for just now," he remarked, looking disappointed.

"Do you remember Jack calling me 'the fire of a thousand suns'?" I asked him.

"Yes."

"Fire burns, Ianto. _All_ fire burns... My father used to call me lilium inter spinus."

"The 'lily among the thorns'," he translated.

"Yes. But I'm not that. I'm more like a rose. A wild one, complete with thorns. I can hurt you, Ianto, without even meaning to, and you need to be aware of that."

"I am," Ianto said placidly. "You've never hidden the fact that you have a dark side."

"You don't understand," I told him, "or you wouldn't be so calm."

"So help me to understand. That's what you want to show me, isn't it?" he ventured.

"You won't understand it, Ianto. In fact, trying to might kill you," I admitted, stroking his cheek.

"Show me anyway," he said gravely.

"This might hurt," I whispered, putting my fingers to his temples.

The first things I allowed Ianto to see that night were personal. Concrete. Things he could relate to. I showed him my trek through Brecon Beacons, the wind slicing across the moors, chilling me to the bone. The day Jack first taught me to fire a pistol, a line of tin cans disappearing one by one off a rock in an open field as my finger pulled. The afternoon when I was sixteen and first realized I was in love with Jack, crying at the window of our flat and feeling empty, devoid of everything but that mixture of love and anger. The day Jack first took me up in a plane, the joy I felt at finally being cut loose from the earth once more. Then hiding. Hiding from Jack's other self, hiding from my father, hiding my own feelings... Ianto could feel those feelings I had hidden from everyone but myself. I even showed him that winter evening when Jack had finally realized that what I felt for him wasn't as simple as he'd thought, when he'd made love to me on the living room rug of the flat we'd kept in the 70s and 80s. John shooting me in the eyes as I was coming out of the small house we'd owned in the 90s with a smile on my face and a paper bag of breadcrumbs in my hand to feed to the gulls and the swans. The crows had fed instead that day.

All of this I showed Ianto, like a movie playing in my head, but one he could walk around in and feel the texture of. He could even smell the grass of our front lawn as I lay sprawled in what had been evening light and become utter darkness. It was then, in the darkness, that he could see the things that could not be seen with the eye, but only felt with the mind. The pull of the sun. The turning of the earth. The burnt-orange sky of Gallifrey that only existed as an echo in the minds of the few of us left who had seen it. And then the Vortex... matter and anti-matter... four-dimensional space... Time: then, now, and forever swirling and spinning, changing, never holding still... As I closed the door, I showed him myself pirouetting to Lizt. Spinning. Never holding still.

"Is that what you see," he asked me, sounding breathless, "all the time?"

"Yes," I whispered. "And that's how I feel."

"It's like puberty," he remarked.

"What?" I blurted. It was the last thing in the universe I'd expected him to say.

"Constant change, everything feeling like it's out of your control, the terror and the wonder. Like a teenager on acid," he said, and I laughed. "Has Jack ever seen... I mean, have you shown him?"

I shook my head. "He's seen many things in his time. He's even seen part of the Vortex. But he's never seen the inner workings of my mind."

"Why not?" Ianto asked me gently.

"Because there's a lot in here he'd laugh at, and a lot that would scare even _him_ senseless," I admitted. "My locket... I know he looked into it, but even now he won't say exactly what he saw. It was bad enough to make Alex Hopkins slaughter his entire team, including himself, but there are so many things I've seen, Ianto... that I _still_ see... that I can't figure out what exactly terrified them so. I live with the stuff of nightmares in my head every moment of every day, and I'm so accustomed to it that I don't know what's bad enough to make an ordinary man run mad," I explained. "And that's why I'm dangerous, Ianto. I looked into the Vortex, and the Vortex looked into me... You would call it the Abyss, I suppose, but it comes down to the same thing. All the gods and all the devils, the wonders and the terror... I can't fathom what a person, a normal human, can really handle."

"That's why you hold back," Ianto understood what I hadn't been able to put into words. "That's why you hid your feelings from Jack and you pull away from me. Because you're worried you won't know when you're overestimating us."

"I just _under_estimated _you_," I admitted. "You _are_ interesting, Ianto Jones."

"Something's coming for us, isn't it," he said; a statement, not a question.

"You saw?" I whispered. He nodded. "I hoped you hadn't."

"What is it?" he pressed.

"Couldn't you see?" I asked him cautiously.

"No. It was hiding in the shadows."

"Ianto," I whispered, "what you saw... it _was_ the shadows."

"Literally? Like what you told Jack about smoke and fog?"

"I don't know," I admitted.

"But it's close," he ventured. I nodded. "We'll be all right, you know," he murmured, pressing his forehead to mine.

"Oh?"

"We've got you, your dad, and Dashing Jack. How could we fail?" he said, putting on a brave face.

"All too easily, Ianto. Remember what I said. Things are in flux. Our tidy little universe could be wiped clean and re-written in the blink of an eye." He was staring at me intently. "Sorry. I know that's not very reassuring."

"I don't need you to reassure me, Sage," he murmured. "I think that's my job now. To reassure _you_, Time Lord."

"Don't call me that," I protested softly.

"What you showed me... you can't take it back. But I trust you, and I trust Jack. And I love you. Even if all I can do is hold you when the darkness comes, I will."

"You didn't see her, did you," I ventured.

"See who?"

"Behold a pale horse," I paraphrased, "and her name that sat on him was Rose, and Hell followed with her…"

"She's coming?"

"Oh yes… I hope for all our sakes she's as strong as Jack says. Otherwise, I'm afraid the story of our lives will come up short and end badly," I murmured.

"I meant what I said, Sage. Even if all I can do is hold you."

"I know," I whispered, kissing him tenderly. "I love you, too."

* * *

**[May 4, 2008 – June 1, 2008]**

**Concluded in "Torchwood: Darkness Falls"**


End file.
